Sunday, October 21, 2007

151. This is Halloween

I worked on my Halloween costume this weekend, finished it earlier this afternoon. It's so cute. I am gonna be a can-can girl. Now all I need is a blue boa, and I will be all set. Sara invited me to a halloween party, so I have that lined up this weekend. I am looking forward to it. So much studying ahead of me, though. Bleghhh.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

150. Happy 150?

A horrid little part of me is absolutely ecstatic on all the drama going on at my old apartment. The halloween party I was snubbed from isn't happened at all because those kids can't get their act together. Apparently, Jay and Catherine made party plans without informing the rest of the house--which they have done before, too. Not cool, alienates everyone else. Then Chuck wanted to have the party the next weekend because his brother was coming up, but no one else wanted the party that weekend, so there was fighting and no one could agree on a date so they aren't having a party at all. :D I know it's childish, but I just want to point my finger at all them and go, "HAHAHAHAHAHA!" In all caps, just like that. I was talking to Katy today, and apparently because of all this, Catherine and her new little replacement friend Lori hate Chuck now too--and who hates Chuck? He is such a sweetheart. But now they hate me, Katy and Chuck for these ridiculous reasons, and everyone is losing patience with Catherine who has just been showing her ugly side recently. I feel really bad for her...but she still has my book. I can't contact ehr or anything though, even to get my book back, because it would just escalate into an argument where shed accuse me of being a bad friend for making ehr choose between friends because because of the assault and my very gentle warnings about this "friend" she knew for 6 months, 2 years less than she knew me. Ugh. It shouldn't bother me anymore, but it does. I want to see her fail at life as much as I want to see that dirtbag fail. But I know it won't be nearly as satisfying as I picture it to be. Its still fun to picture, though.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

149. Pieces

I know I've been off the map for a while. I've since returned to school, finished up my classes from last semester and earned my scholarship back. Academically, things are looking up. I've started seeing a new counselor through the area crisis services who is absolutely amazing. She's really helping me just wade through my anger and depression and everything. I am still very hurt over Catherine not believing me. I've been "expelled" from that circle of friends. But I have also realized who the people I really value are. Katy's one, and Aaron. They're good to me, and I can't thank them enough for simply believing me and being there. I've become more vocal on campus as far as victim's rights go. I'm not even sure what I'mdoing, but it feels right. I wrote a letter to the editor that started it all, and now I feel like I am the poster child for aquaintance rape. At the same time, the people I am working with are giving me control, so I am not just being swept through. I have ultimate say over what I will do, and I like that. It's good. Today I gave an interview to a journalism student working on a project about assault survivors. I almost started crying on camera. A little part of me is really scared that the wrong people will see it--but those wrong people don't matter. The administration knows my identity, and so does the police, and I have to be upfront when I am applying for law school because a giant chunk of my academia is missing. THere is no one important who I am worried about finding out. So I think I am okay with this. If it helps some girl who watches the video come forward, or it stops some boy from doing something he'll regret, that's okay with me. But a little piece of my is terrified over all this. And I think that is okay, too.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

148. Courageous

I was called courageous. :) I don't know if I can agree, but damn, it's a nice feeling.