Wednesday, November 29, 2006

087. Wish List

1) Make a post (public, friends, filtered, etc) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fun ("I'd love a Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want. 2) If you wish for real possible things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you. 3) Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post (it'll be public) so that the holiday joy will spread. 4) Surf around your friendslist (or friends friends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part: 5) If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it. You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call. There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special. The Wish List 1. A love poem 2. An icon with tap-dancing penguins with my lj name on it 3. A piece of artwork 4. Movie passes 5. A stuffed animal named Gigi 6. Expensive Chocolate 7. Bath items 8. 18" Gold chain for my communion necklace--I've outgrown the current one. 9. A paper journal 10. Macromedia Flash Professional and/or Adobe Photoshop code I look forward to seeing lists on my friends page. :) leighannlaw (at) gmail.com

086. Luau

I never wrote about November 18. We went to a Hawaiian party. It was mostly boring, so Catherine, Katie and I left before midnight. We could have taken public transportation, but ultimately decided to walk instead. And that's when our night really began. We met a girl on the street and walked her home. She was a sweet, little lesbian freshman, and in retrospect I feel a little dirty for making out with her. What should have taken half an hour took two and a half, and we can't remember most of it, but the photoes sure fill in the details. At the mostly boring party, we had drank whatever was put in front of us. Jello shots, flavored alcohol, beer and strange fruity concoctions. It was only our friends, so why not? We clammored down the stairs, through the lobby and onto the street. Somehow, we crossed a major road and climbed through the construction site separating us from the sidewalk, which we decided we had to get to. I still have a nasty, yellow bruise on my hip from crashing into something. A concrete divider, maybe. I don't know how we survived the overpass, but we eventually made it safely home and hell, half dressed and with flowers in our hair, into our beds. Catherine and I are on good terms. There are only a few weeks left, and I want to cherish them. Thanksgiving was fun. I liked seeing my family. Can't wait for Winter break. We're going to drink again friday. I will keep my pants on. But I will also get completely plastered.

Monday, November 20, 2006

085. Laundry List

Ugh! At least I'll own up to my faults, and I should probably stop doing that. The night before last Catherine came in at around two in the morning, sober, and woke me up. She didn't do it on purpose, and I never thought she did, but it was a little inconsiderate. I had work the next day, and I ended up missing my alarm and getting there an hour and a half late. I was pissed. And I had ten hours to stew about it. There I was at work on only a few hours of sleep, exhausted. I came home and bitched about it. That would have been the end of it, but due to a miscommunication (and there are a lot of these around Catherine), her friend shows up unannounced at our house. Catherine is no where in site, and no one can get a hold of her. Another general pattern. Three of us in the house try our best to entertain him, but this is someone else's guest, and he starts getting nasty with us. It goes on for about twenty minutes before we finally do get a hold of Caroline and he leaves to meet her. Well, I certainly wasn't pleased. I am sick, tired and missing out on $12 of pay. Catherine comes home, and here is where I make my mistake: I call her out in front of her friend. I absolutely wanted to embarrass her, and that was wrong, but I was pissed. We are talking about secret santa and she finds out that we are including significant others. I never saw a problem with it, because these kids are our friends and long-term dating our housemantes. I can see why she is upset: She is leaving next semester and wants one last group bonding. Im not into this whole group bonding, and frankly I think its silly that she is so focused on it that now she says she can't be involved because she'll taint it. And dropping out with no explaination won't? No matter what, you are fucking this nice thing up because you can't get over one, last group bonding thing. Yeah, I understand why you want it to be just us, but I think you are pitching a fit when you could just let it slide. Yes, half the house has a significant other and you wish you did to, get over it. So I told her, "you're in no place to negotiate, you know," and I call her out about waking me up. She calls me rude for embarrassing her in front of her friend, and I wish I could take the words back. It did it to be mean, and I still feel like she deserved it, but I know I fucked up. So then I was stuck downstairs while she and her friend laugh. The hours pass, and I can't go to bed because the two of them are in our room and now I am in no place to negotiate. I can't win the argument, if there is one, because no matter what she will twist it around. Shes good at that. So my perfectly legitimate reason for being upset becomes…nothing. "Leighann, I don'tknow what will set you off!" True, but I let so goddamn much slide. Then, I own up to my behaviour. I admit that I hurt my friends. I admit that I will yell at the people I am closer to quicker. Whoops. Shouldn't have said that. She starts in on this psychoanalystic bullshit asking me why I thought I did that. Asking me for a grocery list of things that bother me. No one can do that! And she is certainly not one to be psychoanalyzing. I let things build up, and then I yell, but it's not really personal. I'm angry with her for growing abroad. I'm angry she leaves a mess after I clean for someone to look at the house to take her place. But the first thing I won't mention, because I know she wants this more than anything…even though she dind't realize that until a week ago. And then there is the toothbrush incident. Apparently, I really insulted her when I asked, "Hey, Cath, you know this toothbrush is mine, right?" What else was I supposed to think? My brush was wet even though I didn't use it. I wasn't really disgusted, and it wasn't really a big deal, more of a curiosity. Our toothbrushes look really close, and hers won't get used for a couple days. Was I supposed to assume that it was some toothbrush phantom? I find out last night she was really insulted. "I thought we were close enough friends that you'd know I'd never do that." What? I wasn't grossed out or anything, I mean yeah, it's gross, but not that big of a deal. Apparently it was for her. But what was I supposed to think? Then she pulls the friendship card. "It's things like this…that you can get angry about me waking you up when I never get angry about you waking me up, or that you'd think I'd use your toothbrush, that makes me question how much you really value our friendship." … Sweetheart, if you are questioning our friendship, that’s all on your shoulders, not mine. I was angry at you. You woke me up when I was sick and needed sleep. Should I have snapped at you and embarrassed you? No. I was wrong to do that. But don't assume that this means the end of our friendship. I get over my anger really quickly, and you should know that by now. If you need to question our friendship, then clearly there is something else that you're not talking about. It's too late to persue it any further. She won. I'm the psychobitch. I poured my heart out to explain myself, and she starts in with those psychoanalytical questions, and I am not going there. Everyone has a mean streak. I can admit to mine, but I am certainly not going to attack you for yours. Don't bring up my faults if you aren't prepared to bring up your own. I didn't say anything, but sweetie, there's a whole laundry list.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

084. Sweet

I saw a couple today holding hands. It was real sweet, and I thought to myself, "The look happy. I'm happy." And I am. For all the self destruction and games, I am happy. Baked the psycho a birthday cake today. She's turning twenty. He favorite cake is devil's food. Couldn't get a hold of her today, tried to track down her boyfriend to let him know that we have cake and yummyness for her when she gets home, so he should steer her our way before taking her to his apartment for her birthday spanks. He wouldn't pick up, so I left a message. >:)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

083. Lucy, you've got some 'splaining to do!

I don't feel dirty or regretful, just a little sad that it was all a one night stand. I mean, it was nice. It was sloppy and drunk, but it was nice. My housemates remember more than I do. I can't do this to myself anymore. But I'm going to. I'll say I won't party next Friday, but I will, and I'll get trashed, and I'll find a new boy to kiss, but maybe not everything, and then I'll sleep until noon the next day. And I think it'll be worth it. I think that scares me a little. I've gotten so good at telling lies, I think I've started telling them to myself. And I believe me.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

082. Grounded

I went to work today for the first time in a month and a half. A couple of my bosses are gone, and there are new kids. One girl thought I was new, until Sam called me over to his register to do a return. Hah, it was cute. It's weird being back. This are different, but thier just the same. I missed my coworkers. They're...people. They're reliable because they're people, and we know how we act and that's how it is. I felt grounded. And when I got home that night, I curled up and slept.

Friday, November 10, 2006

081. Eleven eleven

Half my night is missing. We had a party, and I drank way too much. I remember bits and pieces until I am upstairs kissing a pretty boy and kissing becomes everything and I remember his hand grabbing my ass, but it wasn't disrespectful because it was just us. And it hurt, but it was so good. I don't think I'll ever see him again.

Wednesday, November 8, 2006

080. Fucked over

Weee! Getting fucked over by roommates is fun! After a month (A month!) of trying to decide, wishy-washy Catherine has decided to go abroad next semester leaving me without a roommate and the house without two shares of the rent. Okay. Fine. Jay does the nice thing and offers me his room and he'll even pay the difference between our rent. What's wrong with that, you say? 1. $100/month is a lot to pay for someone else. 2. His room smells bad. It's dirty and disgusting. 3. I don't want to owe him or anyone else that favor. I will not be in debt. So, my other option? Room with a stranger. Yay. Maybe we can move around the furniture so that I get one of the rooms and the stranger another, but still, it's a fine mess. I will have to approve of anyone who comes to the house, and I'm worried that won't happen. We have a lovely habit of making decisions with one or two people rather than the entire household. Catherine didn't originally want to go abroad next semester. Someone changed her mind. Gee. I'm pissed. But, hey, I can't complain. Jay did make the noble gesture, and this is a one time opportunity for Catherine. Oh, wait...she was going to go abroad fall semester, too. And our Spring Break plans are fucked up too. Hurrah!

Monday, November 6, 2006

079. A Cocaine Minivan

Catherine and I spent our entire afternoon in East Boston. It was the most terrifying, incredible adventure we've had yet. I asked her if she'd come with me to get a DVD player off craigslist, so at 2 o' clock, off we went to East Boston. We took the Green Line, transferred to the Blue Line, and got off at Maverick, as hopstop instructed. We were fine until then. I pulled out the directions I wrote down from hopstop and we began walking…and walking…and walking. "It's the next block, I promise. Look! A church. We're in a safe neighborhood." "Look! An empty lot and two juvenile delinquents. We are going to DIE, Leighann." "Of course not. What does that sign say?" It was not the next block. In fact, the next block was a dead end at the waterfront. Catherine was beginning to get cranky. "Look! A police car!" "Yeah, they can come rescue us when we are GANG RAPED." Catherine carries on like this, pointing out broken bottles and Honda civics to my "Look! A mom with a stroller. This is clearly a family neighborhood" and "Oh! A minivan! Minivans mean safety." "Unless it's a COCAINE minivan." We caught up to the police officers and I asked them for directions, and it turned out we missed our street. I had reversed the directions some how and thought it was six blocks when it was actually only one. So….off we went back to the street we needed. We get there, after passing a boarded up fire department, a funeral home, several churches, playgrounds and at least three empty lots. The apartment is decent looking, and the guy lets us upstairs. Well, this guy is about 35 years old, not bad looking, but not terribly handsome. His wife, on the other hand, is GORGEOUS, silent and about 18 years old. We made the deal, I got my DVD player, and the guy gave us directions to the T that was about three blocks away as opposed to ten. Catherine gives me a look, and we set off. I carry the player, it was light, and we hopped on the T home. I wonder if she was a mail-order bride? Anyway, we got home safely with our almost new, wonderful, working DVD player, and it was good.

078. I have a craigslist boyfriend

That's a lie, but two of my girlfriends and I made personal ads on craigslist. We each got about twenty responses: It was hilarious. There were some really cute guys, but most of them were...a little weird. I chatted with a few on AIM, haha. Nice guys. Today I am gonna go pick up my craigslist DVD player with Catherine. I went to take some money out of my bank account and realized it's quite empty. Nonetheless, that DVD player is mine. And I will be working at the museum again because I have no monies. No partying this weekend. I was a good girl, and I am saving up for next weekend when we have our last big party of the semester. Fun times.